


Memories

by pastelPhones



Category: BioShock
Genre: Angst and Humor, Forbidden Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 10:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1344988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelPhones/pseuds/pastelPhones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His name is Jack Ryan and he was born to do great things.<br/>His name is Atlas Fontaine and he was his downfall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. new beginnings

Jack shifted the bags of honey again into the crook of his arm, speeding up his pace and trying to get to the metro in time before it got too crowded.

He sighed as he tried to push his way through the crowd and almost instantly running into someone’s back and falling flat in the process.

That someone who just happened to be Atlas Fontaine.

 _The_ Atlas Fontaine.

The same Atlas who he was not supposed to talk to under any circumstances because, and Jack can quote, "The Fontaines are barbaric fools who run amuck amongst MY city and they are to not be trusted."

Yet here Jack was, flat on his ass and grabbing onto the other boys hand.

_He was so screwed._

"Woah there boyo! Are you okay?" His voice was deep and his smile bright.

Jack was _so_ screwed.

"Yeah," He smiled back, grabbing his hand and heaving himself up and dusting off his pants. He checked his precious cargo and turned to face the other. "I'm really sorry for running into you like that. I was just in such a hurry and I wasn't looking where I was going and-"

"Breathe mate! It's okay, it was just an accident. They happen all the time."

Jack stopped and blushed, shifting the bag again and nodding. "Yeah. It was just an accident."

The two stand for a bit in awkward silence waiting for a relief. Thankfully the Metro pulled in, the doors opening as people swarmed in and out of the entrance.

The pair managed to grab the last open seat, Jack sighing in relief as he plopped down.

"So..." Atlas started as the machine lugged forward, "Is Arcadia your favorite place in Rapture or..." He trailed off, looking expectantly at Jack.

In turn he nodded and smiled fondly. "For as long as I could remember. I think it has something to do with the plants. It's just so soothing and calm. Why do you ask?"

Atlas shakes his head softly, "I see you there a lot."

"You watch me?" Jack asks with mild curiosity and mortification, but Atlas is hasty to clear up any misunderstandings.

"No! No! I just work there-at the flower shop, and I see you there a lot and I dunno..." He trails off, his face slightly red.  
"It's okay." Jack reassures him, "And yes, it is my favorite place if I'm being honest. It's just so clean and exhilarating." Atlas nods and smiles, completely understanding what he means. The rest of the ride passes in a comfortable silence until it is broken by the screeching of brakes.

 

"Well this is my stop," He gestures to the opening doors and stands, Atlas following suit.

He offers to walk him home, the other of the two smiling thoughtfully. 

He let himself and Atlas in, eyes wandering to the bright yellow sticky on the fridge.  
' _Jack, I won't be able to make dinner. Working late in Hephaestus. -Father_ '

 

The younger snorted, ripping up the note and throwing it away. It sounded so generic he nearly gagged.

 

He turned to Atlas who was looking over his shoulder and they smiled at each other,  
"So, dinner and a movie?"

The movie they had chosen wasn't half bad, considering it was written by that lunatic artist Cohen, and also considering Jack could even remember a second of what happened. He was too busy staring at Atlas. Trying to get a feel for him. To figure him out.

 

Why was he being so _nice_? Their fathers were sworn enemies! This just made no sense to Jack, but he tried to not show his irritation. His reserves breaking when Atlas had asked him another question about the movie and something 'he didn't understand'.

 

"Why are you being so nice to me? How come you don't hate me?" He turned to the other boy expecting an answer about how all of this was some joke. But instead all he got was a blank stare.

"I'm sorry?"

 

Jack nearly exploded with irritation.

 

"You heard me!" He said, suddenly turning indignant, poking his finger in Atlas's chest.

"Why are you being so nice to me? Our fathers are literally at each other’s throats if you haven't noticed!"

Atlas stepped back, looking hurt.

"I just-"

"You just what? Played this as some kind of joke? Is that what it is?"

"If you would let me finish-"

"Go ahead then! Go ahead and tell me why? Or do you need time to make up the lie? You stupid-"

"If you would even let me get a word in edgewise!" He roared over the smaller, making him shrink even more.

Atlas stepped back as his eyes bore into Jack.

"You think I'm doing this all as a joke or some bet? You think I didn't actually want to spend time with you? If you haven't noticed by now I don't give two fucks about our fathers or whose throat they're at for that matter. Do you want me to be honest with you? At first yeah I hated your guts, all the things my Pop had told me about your family I expected you to be Satan in the flesh. But then I saw you today and I actually thought to give you a chance and get to know you, regardless of what I heard. And I actually liked you! I wanted to spend more time with you and get to know you." He paused to take a breath, his voice dropping.

"I actually liked you." He repeated, shaking his head.

Jack stood, legs locked and mind spinning.

"Atlas...I" He tried to form words but nothing would come out.

 

Regret was in him now. Regret for doubting him. He had done just what his father had told him, to not trust him. So why didn't he feel satisfied? Answers were not provided but a feeling of instinct to lean forward and kiss the other on the cheek, stepping back amazed at himself.

 

"I like you too."

 

It was if time had stopped. It felt like they were the only two who existed in the underwater city.

Jacks soft breath ghosted across Atlas's face as he held Jack and pulled him closer, their lips finally meeting. It felt like sparks were set off as they shifted and locked together, intertwining fingers and stepping blindly onto Jacks front steps, parting when they need air and need to go home.

 

"I had a nice time tonight," He started, still not letting go of his hand.

Atlas nodded, embracing the other and leaving a whispered "We should do it again."

And with that, he was gone.

 

Jack was _so_ screwed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> au where jack is ryans son and atlas is fontaines and forbidden love blah blah blah. also sorry if i made them too ooc. you barely get a feel for jack so its really a free for all w/ him. and since i decided to make it where atlas and fontaine aren't the same people i went with the "overly supportive/charming" kind of guy for atlas and jack the "voice of reason" here ://


	2. tried-and-true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys' relationship is tested by an outside force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVENT UPDATED THIS FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY OMG I HAD BAD WRITERS BLOCK AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE but anyways here it is yeah :^)) tell me if you like it or not feedback is always appreciated!!

 

Jacks days became much more interesting once he had allowed Atlas into his life and though he would never let himself admit it, he was starting to fall in love. 

Of course his father didn't know about the two's budding relationship but it was easy to keep it secret when he was never really around, only to check up on Jack every now and again to see if all was going well, if he needed any money and so on.

But he didn't focus on the negative, instead on how sweet Atlas was, bringing him flowers when Jack would visit him in Arcadia, coming to visit him at home and though it was rare, taking him on a date.  
Jack understood why they didn't go out that much but it still hurt him to watch other couples in the streets kissing and hugging and holding hands with no care in the world. It made him even a tad bit jealous but he knew that there were risks so he tried not to stress it. 

Their secret meetings were not the only thing that made Jack nervous, but the fact that there were gossipers all across the city, just  _waiting, salivating_ at the idea of bringing down the prodigal son.

 

Jack sighed as he tried not to let his thoughts get to him. Currently he was waiting for Atlas to come over so they could relax. He hadn't seen him all week and his worries were starting to kick in when he still hadn't seen him earlier at the flower shop.

The sound of banging at his front door startled him and he quickly ran to open it, completely shocked when he saw Atlas.   
"Atlas? Why are you banging on the door what happened-"  
"Let me in. Right. Now."  
He looked angry, and his tall form which already towered over Jack stood even taller as he hunched his shoulders and tried to act inconspicuous, anger clearly visible in his eyes.

Jack gaped as he quickly moved to the side and let him in.

As soon as he was inside he shut the door and stormed into the living room with Jack quickly following suit. 

"Is everything okay?" He timidly asks, trying not to upset him further.

"No Jack! Everything is not  _okay_!" He snaps bitterly as he mocks the younger boy,   
"What the hell is this?" he asks as he shoves a crumpled photograph into the others hand.

"What the hell is what...?” Jacks mumble trails off as he holds the photo up, trying to get a good look.

It takes him a moment but when he realizes just what it is he nearly faints, hot bile rising in his throat as he stares at it.

In his hand sits a photograph of Atlas and Jack, kissing on the night of their first official date.

His entire body feels like it's on fire and all he can hear is ringing in his ears as he struggles to breathe.  
"Where did you get this? Who took this?" Is all he can ask as he sits down and cradles his head in his hands. Just when things had gotten good they were ripped straight from his hands. He just wanted to be normal for once, to  _feel_ normal, to do what the others did like going to the movies and dating, but seeing just who he was associated with scared others away. But not Atlas, and Jack was so sure that they could have made it work.

He was starting to rely on his instincts too much. He was getting careless. Carelessness was the demise of everyone and it hit Jack then that he needed to get his guard back up.  

Lost in his thought he ignored him as Atlas rambled on about how he got the photo.  
"The paps. The  _fucking_ paps. I was just on my way over here when one of them pulls me to the side and gives me that thing, telling me if I wanted it to stop I'd have to pay him. I gave him everything I had in my pockets and he promised there wouldn't be any more pictures so long as we 'watched ourselves'. The fucking  _nerve_  of that guy. We can't let him get away with this, we need to-"

"Stop." Jack whispers, cutting Atlas off in the process.  
  
"But Jack, we can't let them think that they can just control us! We are our  _own_ people! We deserve to have the same rights as everyone else! It's only fair!"  
  
At the mention of being fair, Jack snaps.   
  
"Life is not  _fair_  Atlas! It never will be for us. We lost the right to be normal the day we came into the damned city! The day we were born we had everything set up for us! Who we are supposed to be, who we marry, what decisions we make,  _all of that_ is decided for us, fair or not."  
His eyes tear up as he stands and slowly walks to Atlas, grabbing his hand. "We don't have a choice. We have to stop seeing each other."  
  
"What are you saying?” Atlas chokes out, eyes widening as he prays Jack isn’t serious.

“For both of our safety, we need to stop this, before it gets dangerous.”

“It was dangerous the moment we laid eyes on each other.”  
Jack is taken back at his words.

“I can't believe you. Why would you say that? You mean so much to me and you just-, you act as if you actually want to follow in your fathers’ steps."

His entire body feels as if it’s on fire at his accusing words.  
"How _dare_ you say that?! That is bullshit and you know it! I would rather DIE than go what he goes through. I want to be able to be around you without worrying if one of us is going to get harmed, to hold your hand when we go out, to go on  _actual_ dates without worrying who saw us. To kiss you with no worry in the world. To love you like others get to love. I want that so much but I know I will never be able to have it, and I would rather be lonely than to see you hurt. I love you too much to let that happen.”  
  
He sniffles and wipes his eyes but when a realization from earlier hits him he pushes the other away.  
  
"What's your deal?" Atlas shouts, an unreadable mix of emotions on his face.  
"My deal? What's  _yours_? Huh? Every time I went to see you, you were gone! And then I hear from someone that you were on a  _raid?!_ Planned and set out by your father! Atlas you could have been killed! Killed, Atlas!"  
"Baby," he coos, trying to get Jack under control. "Calm down, it wasn't anything serious, just a little bust down at the docks. No one was hurt. I promise."  
  
"But-" He puts a finger to the other boys lips silencing as he continues.  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you this week, but I couldn't raise any suspicions by declining my pops request for me to go. It was decided that the best way to keep you safe was to not let you know anything. I don't know how it slipped out where I was but it wasn't supposed to. And believe me, I want the same thing as you, but I'm tired of just wanting and never getting to have it. Especially when I finally found the person I want to share it with. I'm sorry I accused you of acting like your dad; I had no right to say that, I was angry. I love you, Jack, so, so much and I want to be able to let you know that, to let others know that. It's the only thing I truly want. "

The silence begins to eat away at the pair as they stand in the foyer, Jack holding onto Atlas and trying to get his breathing under control.  
"You really mean it? You love me?"  
He smiles.   
"Of course I do, never loved someone so much in my entire life."  
  
Jack smiles too, pulling away just a tiny bit.   
"Come on, let's go lie down, I'm tired."  
Atlas nods and they slowly walk to Jack’s room, their heads now clear and hearts set.


	3. taking care of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a whole different level with you and Atlas, though, you two kiss in public and all of a sudden the entire city shuts down on account of a 'terrorist act' or some kind of made up bull by Ryan.”  
> He scoffs, quickly adding a “No offense, by the way." 
> 
> Jack rolls his eyes. "None taken."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically just a continuation of the last chapter; some new characters introduced. also sorry if it seems too drawn out!

Even though the paparazzi told Atlas he would let up on the pictures he knew deep down inside it wasn't true, but come on! Give the guy some slack! This was  _the_ juiciest story of the century and he was determined to get his hands on some cash.   
  
In all actuality he had intended to keep his word, to stop messing with the poor kids and instead go back to his daily job of stalking Fontaine's apartment, but when the seriousness of the entire situation hit him he knew that he couldn't just let this one slide, so he told the kid just what he intended to do.  
Well, not exactly  _all_  of it per se,  just enough to get him riled up and begging to do anything, as he had put it, to not let the pictures get out. He offered to empty his entire wallet and when the son of one of the richest men in Rapture offers to empty his wallet you don't just second guess the situation.

But he had priorities, and by priorities he meant what to do with the pictures...

* * *

 

"So someone has been taking pictures of you and Atlas? How long has this been going on for?"

Jack sighs and looks around, taking in the décor of the record store. Shelves of different shapes and sizes line the walls, music memorabilia from over the years littered whatever open space was left; records with all different kinds of genres and artists were packed like sardines into each shelf, organized alphabetically and by the years. Silas didn’t joke around when it came to his records.  
  
"I don't know, but it must have been a while because one of them was from our _first date_ , and that was months ago! He even threatened to show them to my father! If he were to see them or find out about them there’s no telling what he would do! This whole situation is just so nerve-racking."   
  
He leans against the counter and props himself up with his elbow.   
"What would  _you_ do if you were in my shoes? Huh?"  
It’s a moment before he realizes Kyle never replies to him and he becomes impatient as he repeats himself for what has to be the third time today.  
"Sorry! Sorry! I just need to put this last record away..."  
Kyle starts, hesitating for a second as he finally finds the spot and shoves it in, nodding in satisfaction when he’s done.  
"And well, I can't really tell you, seeing as how I would never be in that much trouble just for kissing Silas in public. It's a whole different level with you and Atlas, though, you two kiss in public and all of a sudden the entire city shuts down on account of a 'terrorist act' or some kind of made up bull by Ryan.” He scoffs, quickly adding a “No offense, by the way." 

Jack rolls his eyes, "None taken. And it kind of is, just imagine what would happen if Cohen caught wind about you two. It’s bad enough he stalks your every move and tries to claim you as his own, but the fact that you date his least favorite ‘disciple’ does make it almost as bad. Like imagine how he would react, what he would do!"

Just then Silas comes strolling out of the backroom carrying a box of posters.  
"Well first off, Cohen can shove it, that's what he can do, second of all sugar, it sounds like you are in some deep, deep shit." He drops the box on the counter with a bang just for emphasis. Wiping his hands together to get rid of the dust he adds, “And by the way, I’m only his least favorite ‘cause I’m the prettiest.”

Both Jack and Kyle snort.

"Nice of you to join the pity party, want a snack?" He's being sarcastic but apparently Silas doesn't catch on, or he doesn't want to; Jack going with the latter.  
He politely declines him with a, "No thanks, I had a heavy lunch." leading him to then point to Kyle's ass with a wink and a thumbs up.

Kyle blushes and reaches to smack Silas. "Oh grow up you pervert!"

Jack laughs. “Just once I’d like for one of our conversations to not be about Kyle’s ass, please? Is that too much for a man to ask?”

“Considering who you’re asking this of, yes.” Kyle answers him with a sympathetic smile.

“Well how can you blame me? It’s just so nice and big and round and-“  
He's interrupted by the bell on the door ringing as it opens and Jack silently thanks whatever god is above that he doesn't finish his statement. He would really be better off not knowing about the sexual adventures involving Silas and Kyle's ass.

“I don’t know what I just walked into and I don’t even think I want to.”

“Atlas!” Kyle chirps, reaching over the counter for a quick hug. “It’s so nice to see you again!”

“Well I’ll be damned, if it ain’t the man of the hour, Atlas! We were just talking about you!” Silas leans in for a hug also, the other hugging him back with a smile as he leans over to kiss Jack.

He departs from Silas with a clap on the shoulder and chuckles. “Oh really? Because I don’t remember myself being in the category of ‘big and round’.”  
“Well,” Jacks starts with a small laugh, “we were at first but then somehow got onto the subject of Kyle’s ass and Silas making a meal of it when you so gracefully made an appearance.”

“Almost yelled at ya to look at the damn closed sign on the door before Kyle announced just who was walking in.” Silas mumbles, pushing the poster box aside as he hops up to sit on the counter.

“So, what’s this I hear about you and Jack’s personal stalker?”

“Christ…” He sighs, exasperated, rubbing his face. “Well remember how I told you about the old guy who had been stalking my floor? The one my old man tried to take out?”

Everyone nods, Silas looking up from his flaming fingers and affirms for him.  
  
“Well, yeah, what about him? Didn’t you say he got away or somethin’?”  
  
“Supposedly he did, but the bastards back, and he’s the guy stalking me an’ Jack!”

Kyle gasps, “No way! You’re joking!”

“Nah,” Atlas shakes his head, “One hundred percent sure, as serious as a heart attack. This is that same guy! An’ what’s worse is he isn’t letting up; saw him outside my floor again with that damn camera of his!”

“Well, what’re you gonna do?” Kyle asks timidly, knowing Atlas had a short temper when it came to sensitive subjects like his personal matters.

Atlas sighs and sweeps his hair away from his eyes. “Dunno, not like I can call a hit on him again, he could snitch! An’ I'm sure as hell not going to pay him again, s’not like I can every time he shows up, I would be broke!”

“I got an idea,” Silas claps his hands together. “I could get ‘im for you!”  
Kyle eyes him suspiciously. “What do you mean,  _get him_?”  
  
“I could scare him off, or uh, if you want kill him? Not that hard when it's me and 'Mr. Muscles over here against some old dude."   
Putting emphasis on his statement he leans over and grabs at Atlas's biceps, causing him to laugh and swat him away.  
  
Despite the joking banter the entire store is deathly silent, Kyle and Jack trading incredulous looks while Atlas laughs to himself, shaking his head.   
“You’re a damn madman, Cobb. But, I guess if you’re really up for it I  _could_  help.”  
  
Considering the fact that Atlas and Silas are talking up a murder right in front of him and Kyle as if its regular business kind of makes Jack want to scream at them as to what the hell is going on, but decides on instead letting Kyle handle it seeing as he's about to burst.

Even though this is a serious situation it has to be the funniest thing Jack has ever witnessed.

“You-you two can’t be serious! You could get into serious trouble!” Kyle shouts, nearly losing it and catching a fit, stuttering and going on about "The police could catch you! You could be locked up in some cell or dungeon under the city for years and we'd never know what happened!"   
Jack laughs to himself but when Kyle finally looks to him for support he cuts the shit, actually getting serious and nodding.   
“Kyle’s right, guys, you can’t just murder the poor guy over this! Be rational for a second!”

Both Silas and Atlas give him a look as if he’s the one planning on murdering someone.  
“Rational?” Atlas starts, Silas finishing his statement for him. Sometimes he wonders if the two were twins who got separated at birth. They’re every bit alike, and even act as if they were related.  
“Jack, this man is planning on showing these to your father, with the intent o' gettin' your ass into deep trouble! Hell this could make ‘im mad enough he’d send you on up topside to live by yourself! You have to let us take care of this!”   
  
His southern drawl gets heavier as he goes on and he has to stop himself from getting too angry, this time Atlas taking over for him.  
“Baby, look, I just don’t want something bad to happen to you over this is all. You and Kyle just let us handle it okay? Everything will be just fine. Got it?”

The two eye the other pair wearily, eventually relenting with a muttered, “Fine, just don’t do anything too stupid, and stay out of trouble, please?”

The friends grin at each other and then back to their respective partners.  
“Sugar please,” Silas laughs, “When do we  _ever_  get into trouble?”

Jack isn't really sure whether he should be worried for them or the other guy.

* * *

 

Kyle gets a call later on that night while he and Jack are sitting in his apartment, Jack reading a book silently and Kyle going over some sheet music Cohen gave him to practice when he hears the shrill ringing. 

Groaning, he stands up and stretches like a cat, once he feels his back pop he finally stands straight, making his way to the phone.

"Hello?" He answers a yawn on the tip of his tongue.  
Jack looks over. "Who on earth could be calling at," he stops to look at the clock, "11:30 at night?"  
Kyle holds up a finger, signaling him to wait until he could hear someone talk.  

"Hey boy-o!" 'It's Atlas' he mouths to him when he makes his way to the receiver also.   
Jacks eyes narrow at the phone as Kyle shrugs his shoulders with an 'I don't really know' kind of frown.   
  
He listens on anyways, even with Jack giving him an evil eye the whole time.

"Me and Silas tried calling Jack but he didn't answer, so we figured he was at home with you. He's there, right?"  
Kyle looks to Jack and nods, confirming his hunch. "Yeah he's here with me, what's up?"  
Jack raises an eyebrow. "Oh, nothing really! Just wanted to let you two know we got the guy. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about anymore."

Kyle blanches and nearly faints, grabbing Jack for support. Seeing as how Jack literally knows nothing he becomes slightly annoyed at the entire situation, wondering just what the actual fuck has Kyle so spooked. But then he readily quips that come on; this is Kyle he's talking about. Just a shark floating by one of the windows in the metro stations had him hanging onto anything nearby for life.   
  
"You did  _not_! I-I just, no! How could you even think that I would just-no!" He has this look on his face that tells Jack 'I think your boyfriend is bullshitting me but I'm not sure.' He tries not to laugh, still silently watching him handle the phone situation.  
  
Suddenly there's a rustling sound on the other end of the receiver and muffled arguing, eventually it stops and Silas is the one talking.   
"Kyle? Listen, sweetheart, we're fine, I'm fine, everything's fine, alright? Now I'm gonna need for ya to get some towels ready because me and my buddy Atlas here are soaked and smell like absolute garbage, and would really appreciate a nice warm bath and the ability to  _not_ smell like horseshit, okay? We'll be there in a bit, thanks for being such a doll, love ya!"

He hangs up.

He looks up to meet Jack's questioning gaze. "We need towels, and lots of 'em."

"Oh god." He can only mutter.  
  


Nearly an hour had passed by when they finally hear a knock at the door, Jack getting up to greet them.   
  
"You go ahead and get the bath ready, I need to deal with these two idiots and see what they've gotten themselves into."   
Kyle nods fervently, quickly running to the bathroom.

Jack's nose isn't prepared for the smell that it meets when he opens the door. Immediately he holds it closed with his index finger and thumb, getting a good look at the two men on Kyle's doorstep.  
"Just what the hell happened, exactly? You two smell like raw sewage, fish, and death."  
They both share a knowing grin and look back at Jack. 

"Let's just say they won't be shipping out just fish down at the Fisheries anytime soon."

Jack feels himself become nauseous.  
"I think I'm going to be sick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahah, just a little humor added into the story considering how cripplingly sad it's about to get!!!! anyways just another little note since someone asked, if you're wondering what atlas i used for reference (aka what he looks like in the fic) its the original picture in all of his audio diaries from the first game. NOT the atlas in burial at sea lol. if you want reference just think of his original audio diaries picture, but a tad bit younger :-)


	4. skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skeletons in the closet won't always stay silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always i am sooooo sorry for such the long wait! i've been replaying each game recently and taking notes because i really wanted to get every detail down to a T so i thank you guys for sticking around. honestly i didn't even think that this little 'au' or 'series' or whatever you wanna call it would actually get any attention like it has so i thank you all for that too!

 

_**A HUGE THANK U TO MORGAN FOR HELPING ME EDIT THIS AT 2 AM. SHE IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST._

* * *

Sometimes Atlas almost felt bad when he had to do this.

Keyword _almost._

Seriously, people should cut the guy some slack! Smuggling contraband was hard enough, but keeping the information from your very nosy and very suspicious boyfriend was an entire different level of hell. So when someone decided to just run their stupid mouths and have him in a frenzy of tears and snotty noses, well, then that 'almost' became nearly minute.

Don't get him wrong, he loved the kid to death (more than he'd actually like to admit _)_ but for Christ's sake! He acted like he was the guy's mother! Not to mention the fact what he was doing was very much illegal and would most definitely bring Jack home if he were to find out. Terrorist groups against Andrew Ryan surely wouldn't be so understanding towards his son, so it was best if Jack was left in the dark about Atlas's activities.

If Atlas was being honest with himself then he really didn't feel that bad about the task at hand at all.

When he was called into his father's office he was told in a very slow drawl that, "It looks like we have some rats in our little... _organization_. Would you please be so kind as to exterminate them for me, please son?" Atlas was more than happy to oblige him.

That is, until he saw just who the 'rat' was.

His father's words passed through his mind. " _Rats are never good, even if they're close to you..."_

* * *

"Oh, Johnny...what'd they do to ya..?" Said rat was tied to a chair in the middle of one of the freezers in the Fisheries. The surrounding cold seeping right down to his bones causing him to shake uncontrollably.

Atlas leaned forward and gently caressed his face. He was nearly dead; he looked dirty, beaten, busted lip dry with blood and one eye swollen shut. His once blooming, pink mouth was now completely blue and the color seemed to spread like a slow, icy poison through the rest of his shivering body. Atlas had never seen him look so weak.

"A-Atlas..? Oh thank god y-ya here! You gotta help me-"

"Help you?!" Johnny flinched at the sudden outburst. "W-What's this I hear about you telling everyone my b-business? You know I got half the m-mind to just shoot you right now!" Atlas tried his hardest to keep his voice from quavering against the consuming chill of the freezer. Honestly, his dad _seriously_ needed to pick a new interrogation spot. This was just getting ridiculous. How the hell was Atlas supposed to look menacing and intimidating when he was freezing his balls off?

"B-but Al! W-We're best friends! You gotta help me out I didn't- didn't tell everyone, just that Jack kid! Honest! That's all!"

Surging forward Atlas began to choke him. His skin was cold to the touch, every time he wheezed small crystals and clouds formed in the air puffing around his face before dissipating.

"That's b-basically everyone you idiot! I don't care how c-close we are! It's bad enough you let it slip where I was, but you told A-Andrew Ryan's son! You dip shit!"

"A- Al.. _please_.." Poor Johnny licked his lips and let out a fit of coughs as his throat was released from Atlas's iron clad grip. "You g-gotta understand...he was so upset when he asked me a-and I didn't know what to say-what to do. I knew he w-wouldn't actually g-go find you so I just told him! Please Al! We've known each other for y-years, you don't gotta do this! You c-can't do this."

"I don't care Johnny. A rat is a rat, no m-matter who they are."

Johnny trembled, and later on Atlas would wonder if it was from the cold or the actual fear he could see in his eyes.  
"Please-...you loved me. Remember?" Johnny's tears barely fell past the corners of his eyes and those that did cluttered like misshapen snowflakes on his cheeks.

Atlas felt a knot composed of just barely suppressed emotions rise up in his throat, he was silently begging Johnny to stop, begging his own self not to cry.  
"N-not anymore..not like that. It can't be that way." Instantly Atlas regretted saying that as a look of pain flashed across Johnny's face.

"And why not, huh? You came down here and f-found someone else? S-someone new? Found t-them and j-just threw me to t-the dust.." Johnny's voice takes on a mocking tone. "Mr. Jack R-Ryan! Oh he's so fancy, so b-beautiful! Well w-what about me, Atlas?! What am I supposed to do? A-Am I not important anymore? You're j-just gonna kill me?! Well f-fuck you-"

Suddenly the entire freezer is deathly silent save for the whir of the fans. Johnny is shaking now, a fresh hand print on his cheek, and he dares not to talk.

"D-don't you _ever_ talk about Jack like that. His name doesn't even g-get to leave your filthy mouth, do ya hear me? Why the hell can't you understand that you and I are no more! At least die with some dignity left instead of pissing your pants and crying!" Atlas's words spilled forth like a fountain freshly connected to all the malice he had been building up throughout the years of his life. He didn't exactly know how to accept the fact that the cause of his protective rage was Jack. It was unwarranted, like their love, and because of that small similarity he was okay with it.

"..Alright, g-go ahead. Go ahead you fucking t-traitor! When Jack f-finds out what you've been doing he's gonna regret ever meeting you. Just watch. This city's changed you, Al. It's gonna ruin you," Johnny was silent for a moment before locking his gaze with Atlas's. "It probably already has."

Those words shook Atlas to the core but he was damned if he was going to let Johnny know that.

"It's been nice having you as a friend. Goodbye John."

"I always thought we would go out together...Goodbye Atlas."

In the next fleeting second Johnny was loaded with bullets. His lifeless body slumped over in the chair. Atlas quietly made his way to the frozen corpse and before he can stop himself he places a kiss on Johnny's lips whispering sullenly against them, "I love you."

Placing his gun back in the holster he walks out of the room the stagnant air warming him immediately. He left the door wide open as he turns towards the man guarding it. "Need to clean up in there." The guard nods moving inside the open doorway and pausing. "Your dad says he wants you to see him in his office. Should be in there now."  
The large lump of man says in a husky, almost disinterested, voice. "Alright. Thanks." Atlas sighs as he rubs his arms to warm himself more.

He walked the length of the tunnel connecting the fisheries and the hideout quietly. Johnny's last words stuck with him.

 _"When Jack finds out what you've been doing...He's gonna regret ever meeting you.."_ What if he did? No doubt he'd be mad...but would he really regret meeting Atlas? Atlas didn't know if he'd be able to live with himself if Jack ever told him that. He was the best thing to happen to him since he had came down into this shit hole, he couldn't afford to lose him; it'd drive him mad.

His work boots clanked against the metal panels as he kept on. His paced quickened as his thoughts began to fill up with the ' _What ifs'_ that could come from Jack finding out. He hated the ideas that surface. They uncovered the vague truth that Atlas didn't want to recognize; his secret dealings could cost him his beloved Jack. He would be so disappointed, so heartbroken. Atlas had made a lot of people upset before but he didn't think he'd be able to take it if Jack was added to that list.

"Whatever," He mumbled. "He's smart but he's not _that_ smart. There's nothing to worry about."

Finally he reached the end of the passage, the mouth of the "cave" widening into an entire main area. Men of all ages, races, and sizes worked diligently carrying different crates of smuggled goods. Movies, authentic tobacco, food-you name it, it was there. One of the men passed Atlas with a friendly tip of his chin and Atlas returned the gesture. Peach Wilkins he thought was the man's name. One of his father's friends or "associates". He didn't really know or care. He had his own plans that completely differed from basic smuggling that consisted of daily basis. He preferred the least amount of socialization with the smugglers as possible. Not that he felt that they were under him, but that they simply did manifest enough importance with their existence for Atlas to give them much more than first thought, much less as second one. They were good men though. In his opinion anyone who was working towards his father's cause was a good person.

It didn't take him long to reach his father's office and he was glad when he did; he was starting to overthink the whole situation that may, or may not, soon bubble over with Jack and overthinking was never good for anyone, even Atlas.

Atlas knocked on the door and patiently waited for his father's routine yell questioning who was bothering to disturb him to which Atlas answered "Ah, it's me, Atlas."

"Son! Yeah, come on in!" As soon as he opened the door Atlas was welcomed by the warm smell of fresh cigar smoke. "Come on, hurry in! I wanna hear how it went." Frank chuckled and motioned excitedly for him to close the door. Just as Atlas suspected there was a cigar clamped between his teeth and little juts of smoke puffed out from the opposite the end.

Rubbing the back of his neck he settled down into the chair facing Frank's desk.

"So...?" his father prompted impatiently whilst looking expectantly at him.

"Ah- you know, same old same old.

Frank gave him a disbelieving, or was it disapproving?- look. "What? Waddya mean 'same old same old'?"

Atlas sighs, "Exactly like I said, dad. Same old same old. Johnny pissed his pants and cried and begged me not to do it."

Frank huffed at that. "He didn't say anything that might have.. bothered you? Made you uneasy? You two had been friends for years, Al. Way before you came down here. Shit-the only reason he got down here was because you begged me to bring him along. You're tellin' me all of a sudden you can murder the guy in cold blood and _nothing_ exciting happened out of it?"

"Well..."

"Well _what_? What'd he say." It wasn't a question this time. His father's tone had grown serious. There was no more beating around the bush.

"He just- he said some things. Crazy things. I don't really-" He was cut off immediately.

"Tell me what he said."

Atlas rubbed his hands on his thighs. They were sweaty, a physical sign that his nerves were a mess.

"It was about me. He..he said I changed. Said the city ruined me..."

Johnny's last words were burned into the back of his skull, it gave him a headache to think about it. _"This city's changed you, Al. It's gonna **ruin** you..Probably already has."_

His father put out his cigar and stood up. He rounded his desk to stand behind Atlas, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Son, you didn't change." he sighed "You... _adapted._ The Atlas that you were before coming here wouldn't have survived. You did what you had to do, and now look at you!" Frank's tone took a grand change. He walked to the window facing the city and sweeps his hand across motioning to his many businesses scattered across Rapture. "All of this is yours! You can have anything and _any one_ you want!"

Atlas cradled his head with his hand and turned away from his father, his gaze glued to the family picture adjacent to him. He was so young then, about nine or ten if he remembered correctly. His mother looked so frail. He remembered when it was painted, just a few weeks before they came down to Rapture.

* * *

_She had been so upset about the idea of living underwater. Initially his father wasn't going to tell her, just try and surprise her but when Peach reminded him that, that may be the worst idea he's ever had Frank reconsidered it._

_"Where? Rapture?! An underwater city?! Are you even kidding me Frank?" Atlas's mother practically screeched._

_"Sweetheart, listen-"_

_"No! Do not sweetheart me Frank! I have had enough of your shit! You're a madman! A con! I can't take bein' married to a con no more Frank! I can't!" She huffed and puffed as she struggled to take off her ring. Frank starred at her in astonished bewilderment._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"I'm done! We're done! I can't do this!"_

_"But I have everything planned out! Ryan's supposed to send a security man to brief us tomorrow night and then we can go! Me, you, an' Al! It'll be perfect for us. It's just what we need!"_

_"Just what we need?! Frank, this place is underwater! Under the sea! How could we possibly live there? How is this good for us?"_

_Atlas watched the scene from the kitchen without so much as a breath breathed too loudly. He was intrigued, though not by his parents arguing. God no, that was a staple for their household. An everyday occurrence. What he was interested by was the underwater city they were talking about. Rapture. It sounded magical, whimsical, like something out of a fairy tale._

_He turns excitedly to his friend Johnny, who was too busy playing with his toys to worry about what was going on. "John! Did you hear them?"_

_Johnny, preoccupied with the current car race going on in front of him only half-nodded and gave an offhand reply. "Yeah, sounds cool."_

_Atlas, clearly upset with his nonchalance, snatches the toys away from him._

_"Hey! I was-"_

_"Shut up! Listen..." Atlas pointed to the living room where his parents were still arguing._

_"...We can't live like that, Frank. What about the health risks? Al won't get any sunlight, what'll happen to him?"_

_"It's fine! With today's modern technology we'll all be fine!"_

_Moira rolled her eyes at this as she finally stood from the couch, her hand shaking as she takes off her wedding band. "Here." It lies in her dainty palm, faintly winking at Frank._

_"W-what are ya doin'?"_

_Nothing. Atlas nor John understood the gravity of Moira's hand being insistently shoved just inches from Frank's chest. All they could wonder was why she was so distraught? An underwater city sounded cool!_

_"Moira? Come on sweetheart. It doesn't have to be like this! Maybe this is what we need! Rapture can help-"_

_"Goddammit Frank! Enough about Rapture! I'm not going with you! I am leaving you!"_

_Frank was shocked by her sudden outburst of harsh words. Atlas and Johnny had stopped playing long ago and were now watching from the corner of the doorway, listening intently. They knew what leaving meant. They knew that sometimes leaving meant that you never came back._

_"Leaving..? You can't just leave! You have a child! And we're taking care of another kid that isn't even ours!" At the mention of himself Johnny perks up and Frank, as if just realizing what he's said, suddenly tones his voice down to a harsh whisper. "And just what are we going to do with Johnny? Are you going to keep him?"_

_Though he was whispering Johnny and Atlas could still hear Frank's words. The two just stared at each other at the mention of being separated. "What are we gonna do..?" Johnny looked nervous, playing with his hands and glancing nervously at Atlas's parents. "Where do you think they'll send me?"_

_"Don't worry," Atlas chides. "Do you really think they'll just leave you behind? You have to stay with us, remember? Your mom can't take care of you so they definitely won't send you back there. Now shh! Listen." And he directed both of their attention back to the ongoing conversation._

_"Well..no. He can go with you. He can take my place. Anyways Alice wouldn't mind. She can't keep him and he's been with us this long." She hesitates for a second._  
_"Should we tell them?" Frank nods. "Boys! Come in here for a second."_

_At their cue both Atlas and Johnny come running into the living room, acting casual as if they hadn't just witnessed the entire argument play out._

_"Yeah dad? What is it." With a sigh Frank sits on the couch and pats the empty space beside him. Moira stands in front of them, arms crossed as she nervously chews her nails._

_"What's going on?" Johnny asks, feigning ignorance._

_"Well, uh, boys..." Frank looks like he's on the verge of tears. "We're uh...we're moving!"_

_"...Where?" They ask in unison._

_"Rapture! It's this nice, happy, underwater city. And me, Atlas, and you too Johnny, we're all going!"_

_Atlas gazed from his fathers forced smile to his mothers scornful expression. "And mom isn't?" At the mention of herself she immediately walks to Atlas, sitting beside him and holding his hand._

_"Atlas...mommy loves you, very much, but no, I'm not going. This entire thing is idiotic and insane and..." She calms herself, taking deep breaths as the grip on Atlas's hand grows slightly tighter. "Mommy won't be going..." She trails off and her eyes become glassy. She sniffles. "But just know I love you."_

_Atlas was shocked to say the least. Everything after that passed by in a huge blur. More shouting, his mother crying, saying she would come for her things tomorrow. She wouldn't be seeing them off, and as soon as she left they were rushed into packing up their things. Toys and books weren't allowed in their new home and so they were forced to leave them behind. Only their clothes and shoes were necessary, dad said._

_"Don't worry! We can buy new toys when we get their! Better toys." Hearing this Johnny and Atlas perked up, actually excited to see this new place._

_"Is it really underwater, dad?" Atlas inquired._

_"Yeah Mr. Frank," Johnny piped in. "Is it really underwater? What's it like?"_

_"Well the faster you two hurry on up and sleep, the faster we can see it!" Hearing this the two young boys laughed with giddiness and were soon fast asleep._

_That night Atlas dreamed about swimming with Johnny and his dad. Dolphins and sharks and schools of fish floated all around them while the water shimmered on their faces. Everything was beautiful and content. He could see Rapture beneath him, people of all ages walking around, doing errands, talking, gossiping. Without warning, a large black mass floated above him and blocked out the sun. The shimmering was gone and replaced with a rusted hue. Everything was red, evil, and dark. His dad and Johnny were gone, Atlas was alone. He felt cold and scared, the black mass coming closer and closer. He tried to scream but no sound would come out. He felt like he was suffocating, his entire world fading into darkness..._

_Abruptly he had awakened. In his half-roused mind he couldn't make any telling features that would comfort him with the knowledge of knowing where he was. All he could tell was he was in some sort of...pod? His dad was there, so was Johnny and another man that he doesn't recognize. He was a tall, slim, and somewhat old looking guy. Not too old, though, maybe just a few years older than his dad. He looked friendly, inviting even, and he and his dad seemed to be engaged in a very serious conversation. It was because of this intense exchange of words that Frank hadn't noticed Atlas was up until he was standing at the window._

_"Ah, son, you're awake! How do you feel?"_

_Atlas yawned still drowsily disorientated from his dream, "Tired. Do you have my inhaler? I can't really breathe..."_

_"Mhm," the unknown man chimed in. "Asthma. My son had the exact same problem. It's nice to meet you, young man. I am Andrew Ryan, and welcome...to Rapture!" he makes a grand sweep and gestures outside the window. Though it was clearly still under construction what structures that were finished were breathtaking. Amazed by the view Atlas began shaking Johnny, telling him to "Get up! Wake up!"_

_Irritated at being woke up Johnny angrily rubbed his eyes but as soon as he saw what was going on outside the window he thought he might need to take a hefty pull from Atlas's inhaler as well. Rapture was stunning._

_"Wow..." the pair exclaimed together, Frank and Mr. Ryan chuckling behind them._

_"Beautiful, isn't it boys? Just think, someday you too can do something this great."_

* * *

Frank notices his son staring at his mothers portrait. "Your mother would be very proud of you, son. I know I am."  
At this Atlas smiles. "Yeah, thanks dad. I think I'll be going, I'll see you later. Don't work too late." He stands up and stretches, his joints popping as he fakes an exasperated yawn.

"Don't worry about your old man. Jesus, Al, I'm not that old.." Frank trails off into an upset frown. Making his way towards the door Atlas laughs, but his father's face grows solemn.

"Oh! Before you go, are there any special requests for Johnny's burial?"

Atlas stops in his tracks, nearly forgetting his reason for being here.

Johnny was dead.

He was going to be buried soon.

He wasn't coming back.

His best friend in the entire fucking world was dead and he, Atlas, killed him.

He was a fucking monster. Johnny was right. He was ruined.

All he could think was that he had to leave. He had to escape the insistent eyes of his father that had been not too long ago prying for this very rush of emotions. Away from the nosy workers that were casting side ways glances over their shoulders and tossing taunting whispers to each of their passing co-workers. Jesus fucking Christ he had to get out of here. The knot that had twisted into his throat earlier reappeared but this time it was earnestly growing with the threat of Atlas emptying his surging emotions in one heap of sick.

"I- I can't. I really need to-I really need to go."

"Al? Al! Where are you going?" Frank shouted. Atlas didn't have time to analyze his father but there was an unmistakable enjoyment in Frank's voice. Atlas couldn't blame his father. He was a con man. His career and his passion had rewarded him with a sinister joy in the evident devastation of others. Even his own son.

"I just- I need to get out of here." Atlas stuttered before taking off down the path from once he had came.

He was running.

Running from his lies.

Running from the man he had become that he had not realized until in that moment was such an avid, near disgustingly perfect, reflection of his father.

And running from Johnny.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit**  
> okay so apparently johnny is actually a character! (he's minor and dies in the very beginning of the game) so my apologies for that!


	5. there's something wrong with Atlas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank fontaine and his son are the Messiest people to ever exist tbh.

If there was one thing Silas could pride himself on, it was cheering other people up; making them laugh. Especially Atlas; just mention the guys muscles, compliment him a bit and that was it. Bam! Bingo! Working like a charm. But now? Now was _not_ the time for cheering up. He could feel it in the air as soon as he got a call from a very distraught and audibly drunk Atlas begging Silas to come down to McDonagh's. He knew it wasn't good when he heard a sniff and he immediately got his jacket and was out the door of the record shop, flipping the 'Open' sign to 'Closed'.

A part of him knew what this was about but he didn't want to make any assumptions until he heard Atlas's side; if he was being honest with himself then Fontaine's entire ring of thugs knew what was up with Atlas.  
He had to be the one to kill Johnny, and apparently he actually went through it.  
Silas couldn't believe his ears when Frank called him in and said in an astonished chuckle, "The bastard actually done it."

He was confused for a bit before what he was talking about sunk in and he was speechless. He felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs.  
"Nah.. no way. You're fuckin' wit' me, ain't ya?" He nervously laughed. "That's what this is! A joke! Heh." He rubbed the back of his neck and stared intently at Frank.  
"He.. he really did it? Damn... what'd he tell ya?"  
Frank laughed. "He thinks I didn't know they were together for a while. He thinks he's keeping me 'in the dark' which I find hilarious. Everyone knew, which is why I made sure he was the one to kill him."  
Silas furrows his brows and sits forward, elbow perched on knee and chin cradled in his hand. "Why _did_ , you do that.. exactly?"  
Frank shrugs as if it's a no-brainer. "Because, I told that kid as soon as he tried to mix business and pleasure it wouldn't end well. He knew what he was getting himself _and_ John into. I warned him, Silas! I really did. Shame though, I really liked the kid.."  
Silas is fucking baffled. "Wait.. they were fuckin'?!"  
"No, you idiot! Well, probably, I don't know or care, but they were dating for a good long while. And besides, he's my sole heir, how was he gonna be able to carry on the great Fontaine name when he's... queer."  
"Oh! Oh... so, you don't like him being.. gay?" This was a sensitive subject. This was the 1950's, and being homosexual didn't really get you a thumbs up this time around.  
Fontaine rolled his eyes. "Of course, not! My sons a looker, takes after his father. He could have any girl he wants down here and yet he decides to go settle for the other team! It's ridiculous!"  
Silas sighs. It's not like he hasn't heard this little speech before, it's just..  
It gets old. It gets old and he gets tired of it.

He fakes an astonished look at his watch. Hopefully that'll get him out of this awkward mess of a meeting.  
"Damn! Would you look at that! Looks like I need to go meet the old fruit down at the Fort and go over some record sales. I'll catch you later Frank!"

Frank chuckles at this. "Who, Sander? Ahh, I need to stop by there and give him a visit.. Give him a kiss for me!"  
Silas laughed. "Will do." Giving a half-hearted salute he steps towards the door and stops when Frank calls his name.  
"Silas.." He looks hesitant, nervous. Frank is a serious man, a business man. He's never looked nervous before. It must have something to do with Atlas.  
"Yeah, boss?"  
He sighs and rubs his head. "..Take care of Al for me. And you two.. you two stay out of trouble."  
He flicks his thumb and middle finger together and watches the tiny sparks flicker and burn out. It's a nervous habit Kyle is always telling him to break.  
"Uh, yeah. Sure thing. I'll catch up with you later, alright? And you uh.. you take care of yourself."  
Frank nods and at that Silas leaves.

Atlas has a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

Atlas had never been one to hold his liquor. He wasn't a drinker or a party person contrary to popular belief. He himself would say that he was a "social drinker" but the constant chiding from Kyle that he wasn't a social person at all was a funny reminder.

When Silas walked into the warm exterior of the pub he was immediately grabbed by Bill McDonagh.  
"Can you please tell me why this sad bloke's been moping in here for hours now? He called you way earlier so just where the _hell_ have you been?"  
"Would you calm down? I was in a meeting."  
"Well it's kind of hard to run a damn business when all everyone wants to do is come oggle at 'the Fontaine boy sulkin' in my pub! Get the poor sap home and away from here!"  
"I'm here now ain't I? Now get offa' me goddammit! I'll get him out as soon as I can!"  
"Soon ain't soon enough! He's ruining business and the customers-"  
"Jesus Christ Bill I don't care! Where is he?" Silas huffs out a breath as he snatches his arm away.  
Bill rolled his eyes at his irritable tone and pointed to one of the tables near the window. He gave a quick thanks and made his way over to the mess of a man.

When he does get there he has to assess the situation. God knows why he's always the one to comfort everyone but he prides himself on being the go-to person.  
Atlas is lying cross the table with his arms guarding his head. He looks to be semi-awake, if that's even a thing. He _has_ to be up though because Silas can hear his sniffles.  
This is gonna be tougher than he thought.  
"Al.. Al, get up."  
He groans.

Well, that's a start.

He starts to rub his back and try to lift him up but if he was being honest with himself then the guy was dead weight. He's not a scrawny guy and Silas started to think he may be in a bit over his head.  
"Hey, hey. Come on, Al. Get up, wake up."  
"I'm up dammit!" He shoots up and immediately stills and grabs at his head. "Oh.. man."  
Atlas gently puts his head back down on his folded arms and looks up at Silas.  
"Easy there, tiger.. Want some water?" He nods and looks down at the floor. "I'm glad you came."  
Silas smiles and it's a real genuine one. Atlas makes a mental note of how nice it is. "Don't mention it." He pats Atlas's shoulder. "I'll be back in a second." Atlas nods and watches as Silas goes to the bar and orders a glass of water. Bill looks over at Atlas and he looks away quickly.

There had been people staring at him all day since he had got here. He was embarrassed, and that wasn't a normal emotion he felt. His father had raised him to be strong, confident, even without a mother he could still be whatever he wanted.  
And what did he choose to be?  
A murderer, liar, thief, conman, a queer. Everything his dad had wanted him to be, save for the queer part. He was literally a younger Frank Fontaine, good looks and bad habits included.  
He tries to think that his mother would be proud of him but somehow he just doesn't see it. She loved the fact that Atlas used to be in touch with his feelings, that he was a good boy and helped her around the house. That he was nice and shared when he played with Johnny. Shit he shared his family, his home, his parents and his own self with Johnny.

Johnny.

God he missed him.  
It hadn't even been a full 24 hours and his whole world had been turned upside down.  
He murdered the love of his life in cold blood and for what?

Wait, did he just call him the love of his life?

Thankfully he didn't have the time to ponder anymore as Silas finally made his way over with a glass of water.  
"Here you go Al. Drink up, how you feel?"

He greedily downed the drink and pushed the glass away as soon as he was done. His head was spinning and all he could do was rest it on his arms and stare at the fish swimming by.  
"Y'know, when we first came down here, Dad and John and me, he was so amazed at these things."  
"At what?"  
"The fish. The fact that we could live down here with them. The first week we were here he stayed glued to the windows the entire time in dad's apartment just watchin' 'em. I didn't care for them but he.. He was completely mesmerized.." His eyes become glassy and he finally looks at Silas.  
"Am I as bad of a person as I feel?"

Silas feels his soul breaking as he watches his best friend shatter completely in front of him. Atlas had dropped his whole 'tough guy' persona and was completely raw and new again. He didn't know how to handle it and all Silas could do was watch.

"No, God no. Al, don't say that.." He takes a breath.  
"Your dad told me.. About you.. and John.." Atlas's eyes grow wide.  
"Why didn't you tell me y'all were together? You know it wouldn't have bothered me."

Atlas feels like he's going to be sick. There are even more people in the bar now, staring at both him and Silas. They're watching, waiting, gossiping. He can't take it. The judgmental stares and whispering are growing to be too much.  
"I didn't- I don't. We gotta get out of here."

Silas nods. "Come on. We'll go to my place."  
Atlas looks terrified at the mention of Silas's apartment.  
"Don't worry. Kyle's at work and we don't even live together.. Cohen doesn't allow it." He rolls his eyes at this and moves to help Atlas up.  
"Come on. Let's get you out of public for a bit."

* * *

"I never said anything about Johnny out of respect for him. He wanted to keep it a secret and I was okay with that. I loved the guy, shit.." He sighs and rubs his face. 'I still do. I wasn't.. I wasn't ashamed of bein' queer. I think he was.."

Silas was sat across from him in his living room. He had bathed and changed into some of Silas's clothes to get him more comfortable. If Silas was being honest then he looked like shit and before his bath had smelled like it too.

"But, before he died.. Before I.. Shot him. He begged me, Si. Begged me not to do it. He asked me if I still loved him and I.. I fucking told him I didn't!" He's shouting now and sitting up straight. His outburst shocked Silas but he stayed quiet and watched him..

There were only a few times Silas had ever saw Atlas act this way about somebody, and just about every time that somebody was Jack. He was so defensive over the kid, would shout and parade just for him and now he was doing the same thing, only with a different somebody.  
Something in him always knew there was something off about John and Atlas, from their teasing and playing to the unexpected jealousy he would feel from John if he got anywhere near Al. Silas had always brushed it off as him over thinking the situation, but after he had learned from Frank what confirmed his suspicions he knew he was right. What baffled him was what made Atlas leave him for Jack?

"He said I replaced him for Jack! Told me that I threw him away, that the city changed me.. I saw the fear in his eyes, Si..." He sits back and takes a shaky breath. He can't cry anymore. His tears have been all used up and washed out.

"Well.. why did you two end it? I mean you're pretty torn up about the guy so I know you still loved him; what happened?"  
Atlas frowns and his cheeks start to gain color. Is he... embarrassed?  
No fucking way.

"John was unhappy with how everything turned out. When my old man came down here and decided to smuggle, he asked me if I would help out and of course you know I did. He didn't like that, we fought and argued about it constantly, that being what basically drove us apart.. When I met Jack he was just.. there."  
Atlas didn't want to admit that when he found Jack he was the perfect replacement for Johnny. They both acted just alike; it was exactly what he needed to get over John. Though he never did.

He licks his lips, his hands shaking and nerves on end. He sat and watched as though the metaphorical cogs turned in Silas's head. "So that's what it is.."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're treating this just like John. What with John telling Jack you were smuggling. You don't want it to turn out the same, just it would be Jack leaving you instead of Johnny."  
"Yeah.. But I can't just let this end like this. I have to do him some justice."

"Justice? As in..?"

"I wanna give him a funeral. Lay him to rest, give him some final peace. It's the least I can do."

He had to be fucking joking.

Silas looks at him in disbelief. "How in the hell.. You what?!"

"You heard me! I want to give him a proper burial. A proper rest. He didn't ask for this, Si. Didn't ask for this life. He was forced into it. For Christ's sake the only reason he's dead now is because he snitched to tell Jack where I was. He did it because he could see himself in that position. Worried, afraid because I wasn't answering the phone and I wasn't at my place.. He didn't ask for this. All he asked from me was my love.. And I know now, that even if he _is_ gone I can still give him this little bit of justice, Si."  
He's crying now, fresh tears. They aren't sadness, they're exhaustion. He's tired, and Silas can see how tired he looks. His eyes are sunken in, the shiny gold flecks are gone now, they're a faded brown.  
"You're the only one I can trust, Silas. Please. You're my brother, my family. I love you and I just need you to be with me on this." He's sitting on the edge of the couch now, his hand extended for a handshake.  
Silas sighs and realizes that Atlas is in fact his family, his brother. He loves him and would do anything for the guy.  
"Alright."  
And he shakes his hand in agreement.  
"Alright, you big lug. I'll do it." He's chuckling now, wiping away tears he didn't know he had shed. Atlas is laughing too, the both of them a howling mess.  
"Thank you. Seriously, you don't know how much this means to me. I can't thank you enough."

* * *

"So.. your request for Johnny's funeral is that only you and Silas are allowed to be there?"

It had been 3 days since Johnny's death and the last time he had seen his son he was in a state of utter and literal despair. He had heard the rumors and whispers about him going down to the pub to let off some steam; Silas having to come take him home and out of the public eye. Frank was thankful for this.  
Scenes like that really put a damper on their reputation. He had told Atlas time and time again that you never publicly show your emotions but the boy was just as stubborn as his mother and would probably never listen to him, no matter what the consequence for not listening would be.

"Yes sir. Just us two. We have it planned where we want it and everything."  
Silas nods an affirmation.

"3 long days of no returned phone calls, no sight of you, none of your friends _except_ for Silas have heard from you and now all of a sudden you come to the office, unannounced may I remind you, to say that you want John's funeral to be a private one and that no one else but you and Silas will be present?"

Atlas' jaw tightens and Frank can see it.  
"That's right." It sounds forced.  
Good. That's exactly what he wants. He wants him angry, mean. That's the Atlas he knows. That's the Atlas that gets stuff done.

But still, Frank found something about this fishy, but Frank _also_ realized that he needed to let his son learn a lesson on his own.  
He was grown up now. He could handle this. Besides, he had Silas by his side. Everything would be alright.

He takes a hit from his cigar and blows rings around his office. Silas looks as relaxed as always, snapping his fingers without a care in the world. He's humming something, has to be a new tune from that Kyle.. Fitzpatrick? Frank thinks that's his name. **He's got all the time in the world anyways.**

So, he asks.

"Silas."  
His gaze moves up to make eye contact. He stops snapping his fingers and humming altogether.  
"Yes sir?"

**Atlas stops tapping his foot, too. He's getting irritated now, and Frank is loving it.**

"That song you're humming. Is it by that Kyle Fitzpatrick- is that his name? The one down by the Fort?"

**Atlas's eyes widen.**

Silas grins at the mention of Kyle and his song.  
"Yes sir that's his name. Why?"

**Atlas is clenching his fist now.**

"Just wondering. I heard it on the radio and thought it was lovely. I'll have to go buy the record. Are you selling them?"  
His grin widens even more. Kyle's gonna love this.  
"Yes sir! We just got a shipment in the other day-"

"CAN YOU STOP THE BULLSHITTING ALREADY! Please just give us this money for Johnny's funeral?! Please?!"  
**He can see tears now.**

"Oh! Where are my manners! Here son."  
He writes out a check for about one thousand.  
"Here. One thousand. That should cover it."  
Atlas is more than grateful. "Of course."  
**There he goes. He's back on his leash now.**

"Don't mention it. But after this, I want all of this Johnny business over and done with. He's gone now, nothing we can do now but get on with our lives. We have better things to worry about. Bigger fish to fry."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on Si. We got work to do."  
"Don't spend too much time dwelling on him, Al. Not like you two were married or anything.." Wait...  
What the hell did he just say?

Silas's eyebrows raise and he nervously looks to Atlas, who stiffens but goes unnoticed by his father, too busy digging through a filing cabinet.  
"Here," He throws a manila folder at him. It's decently sized but as soon he tries to open it his father stops him. "Uh uh. Not until you get home. Just you. No one else."  
Both Silas and Atlas look bewildered but say nothing.  
"Now get to work. The both of you. I'm ready for this 'John business' to be over with. Go on."

With a shrug and a wave they were off, unbeknownst to them what kind of "bigger fish" Frank was ready to fry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys im a slut for Atlas boyfriend drama


End file.
